I Wish I Never Met You by Denise N. Wheatley

Published by

Sarah Ann

on

February 29, 2012

I Wish I Never Met You Denise N Wheatley

The full title of this book is I Wish I Never Met You: Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly. It’s a collection of short stories about the narrator’s horrifying dating experiences.

Each chapter in this book is short and has a funny name, such as “Doug the Heinous Dragon” and “Bubba the Bogus-Ass Baller,” and each story is about a man the narrator dated but wishes she had never met.

This book sits at just over 200 pages. Its cover blurb says it is a “hilarious, uncensored confession of one woman, reeling from a lifetime of dating disasters…she’ll have you laughing out loud.”

Unfortunately, the only funny chapter was the first story about “Doug the Heinous Dragon.” In “Preston the Project Mishap,” the narrator describes going to a club and mingling among “Frito-laced, bodussy-type smog.” I had to look up “bodussy,” thankfully it is defined on Urban Dictionary.

In addition to being not funny, some parts were also quite disturbing. In one of the stories near the end, the narrator shares a gross golden shower story. What makes it gross is the way it’s written and presented. Letters to Penthouse does a far better job. Maybe Wheatley’s editor agreed with me because the author alludes to it in the acknowledgments at the end of the book.

We can’t love all the books we read. I’m sad to say I don’t recommend I Wish I Never Met You to anyone. I wish I had never read this book!

It looks like Wheatley has written many more novels since this one was published, and I’d honestly love to check them out, particularly the West Coast Crime Story series. Book #1 came out in 2022 and is called The Heart-Shaped Murders.

Other books by Denise N. Wheatley include:

If you read this book, or any others by Denise N. Wheatley, I’d really like to know your thoughts!

Last Updated on November 24, 2025 by Sarah Ann

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